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Sign This Petition For Cole Hamels To Re-Grow His Mustache And Help Him Return To Dominance

April 07, 2013 / by / 0 Comment

Since Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels has shaved his glorious mustache from last week, he has given up 11 earned runs in just 9 1/3 innings. Simple logic would prove that there must be a direct correlation between these two events. How else could one explain this sudden drop-off in performance? Just like Samson and his hair, Hamels has lost all of his power without his precious mustache.  We urge you to please sign this petition for Hamels to re-grow his mustache so that he can return to being a dominant ace and the Phillies can start winning again. Only YOU can make a difference.

Cole Hamels Mustache Petition

Since Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels has shaved his glorious mustache from last week, he has given up 11 earned runs in just 9 1/3 innings. Simple logic would prove that there must be a direct correlation between these two events. How else could one explain this sudden drop-off in performance? Just like Samson and his hair, Hamels has lost all of his power without his precious mustache. We urge you to please sign this petition for Hamels to re-grow his mustache so that he can return to being a dominant ace and the Phillies can start winning again. Only YOU can make a difference.

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